“Say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.”—Tina Fey
I’ve always loved writing. Papers in school. Long letters, and later, emails. Journals. Proofreading, editing, and revising all things written for several family members. Occasional masterfully crafted scathing texts to my husband (he insisted I include that!). That’s as far as I’ve taken it.
Now I’m 43, and as often happens in midlife, I am waking up to the precious, fleeting nature of this crazy, beautiful life. This means I want to live in alignment with what is most true for me. At long last, I must give integral parts of my being their due rather than continuing to pretend they aren’t real. (And if you’re a younger person reading this and it resonates at all, please begin NOW.) I’m claiming my writing, finally—accompanied by a few stomach butterflies, but without guilt, apology, or sheepishness. I’m doing it for me first. Yes. But I’m doing it for my loved ones, too. Because nagging regret is a big time energy suck and joy-killer, not to mention a breeding ground for eventual bitterness. Removing a major source of all that means I have more love and more energy to give to others.
I don’t yet know all the reasons I have been holding back this part of me for decades. Fear of unworthiness as a writer surely is one. Being easily distracted is another. I may discover more over time about what took me so long. For now, I’m just happy the floodgates have opened!
I see this writing journey as part creative outlet and part spiritual practice—if there’s even any distinction between the two. The only question, then, was whether to make the journey privately via journaling or publicly via blogging. I have been floored at times by what people are willing to share on their blogs. I love that, because I get to read them. But I’ve said before that I’m much too private a person to ever do a personal blog myself. And yet, here I am. So why would a private person like me start one? I don’t know, except to say that when I think of meeting this desire to write by simply journaling more regularly, it feels small and flat. When I think of doing more, and sharing some of it, that feels scary, but also lush and colorful and expansive. I want to do the thing that feels like more. That’s all I know, and I decided for now, it’s reason enough.
I’m ignoring all the blogging advice that says every blog must have a tight focus. Some possible topics include home, family and parenting stuff, midwifery and women’s health, homeschooling, life in a bicultural family, writing and the fledgling creative process, music, world travel, and/or spiritual growth. Whew! Whatever the topic, I want to write about making the most of the opportunities life hands us to learn how to live and love better, and I hope to connect with others trying to do the same. If I waited for my brain to pin it down any more than that, I may never get started. So I’m saying YES first—then I’ll figure it out!
Welcome, and thanks for joining me!
© Camille Williams and Wake Up, Mama! 2015